that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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