you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
