She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize