This girl is more easily done than said...
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
