just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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