Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
