i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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