yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
