i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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