Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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