Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
