don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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