i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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