Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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