I got chris browned last night
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
The uberlube is also flammable
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
