Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
