Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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