so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
