When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
