im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
