Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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