READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
