Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
