i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
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