I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
