All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
