dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
