I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
