He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
My penis needs a shock collar
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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