I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Can I color on your dick again?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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