It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
porn star boner night. come get it.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
