i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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