apparently the secret to your success is patron
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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