Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
