You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
