my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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