they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
