woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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