Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
