What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
