I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
