So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
