therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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