actually, I'm a sock model
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
