His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
