bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
