he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
