Porn is love you can see.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
