dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
