If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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