also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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